Call Sheets, Second Bananas, and the Rest of It
by Marn and Jenn
Summary: Two sisters get summer jobs on the set of what is DEFINITELY NOT the sixth Harry Potter movie.
1. Grandpa's Bad Hip

A/N: So we had this fabulous idea for a new series. How about we get hired to work on the set of HBP? Wouldn't that be awesome? But we hit a snag or two. Mainly, FanFiction has a rule against fics involving real people. Which totally makes sense, but does not help us at all. And having us in this story as well would be confusing, seeing as our main project is us in an entirely different universe, which would definitely not gel with summer jobs in the real world.

So what's before you is a kind of collaboration between what we want and what FanFiction allows, meaning we changed everything. The names of all the people have been changed, (the initials are the same so you can follow along). The personalities are absolutely nothing like the actual people, probably because we have never met (and will most likely never meet) these actors and actresses. Which is a shame in Tom Felton's case.

Anyway, we created a whole AU situation with a very real concept, so let's see how it goes. And hopefully (cross fingers) we won't get bitch-slapped by the admins.

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****Marnie's Journal: July 1, 2007**

**11:30 am**

**Grandpa's House**

We're here for Saturday brunch. Again. Usually, it's only every two weeks or so, but now we're having Saturday brunch on Sunday, meaning we had one yesterday, too. Mom thinks he's gone a little wonky since the operation and I'm beginning to agree. Apparently, there's something important he needs to talk to us about. Hopefully he's not buying another parrot. The one he has now always looks at you funny and says things like, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Butternut?" Crazy bird.

Anyway, so we're all seated around the table in Grandpa's dining room. He lives in a mansion, but only the first floor, since he can't handle the stairs anymore. So the 8 rooms downstairs are ridiculously crowded with things people term "quaint collectibles". I call them crap. It's all dusty and you can't do anything with it. Thank God Grandpa doesn't have any dead animals, though- I draw the line at things that molt and have glass marbles for eyes.

Yeah, the dining room. Long, dark wood table, straight backed chairs, mirror along one wall, window opposite, flowery wallpaper, china cabinet- get the picture? So it's Grandpa at the head of the table in his wheelchair, me to his right, in front of the windows. Jenn (my sister) is across from me, and our mom is next to her. Dad's in Tokyo, but he probably wouldn't be here even if he was in town. Grandpa's mom's dad, and he doesn't like dad. Always accidentally-on-purpose calls him Dan or "you" when he clearly knows his name is Phil. Actually, I'm beginning to doubt that he's pretending, lately. He just turned 84, so you never know…

Grandpa starts the conversation with, "I'd like to call a family meeting."

We all nod.

"Please answer as your name is called."

Mom leans forward. "Dad, we only do that when there's a lot of people. There's only four of us, we don't need to check attendance."

"But I prefer to do things properly, Caroline, and our family's been doing this for the past 120 years."

"Ok dad, if that's what you want."

He clears his throat, and ruffles the paper in front of him.

"Caroline Brennan."

"Present."

"Dan- er, Phil Brennan."

"He's in Tokyo, Dad."

"Right."

"Jennifer Brennan."

"Grandpa, I'm right here, do I really have to?"

We all looked at her.

"Just do it, Jenn, it'll make things go faster", I said.

She sighed. "Present."

"Marnie Brennan."

"Present."

"And Benjamin Moore. I'm here, so- Present."

We all rolled our eyes, sighed exhaustively, or slumped in our seats, according to age.

"I hereby call this meeting to order."

I could rewrite everything that happened after that, but I don't really want to waste space with a 20-minute conversation about what the Connors said about our Sharon at the last gala, or how cousin Peter is engaged to his third supermodel in as many months. So, basically, we gossiped, until the big thing came up.

"I'd like you girls to do something for me", Grandpa states, matter-of-factly.

This got our attention. Jenn and I, who had until present either been leaning the chair back on two legs or sitting crosslegged on the floor, petting the cat, sat up and paid attention.

"Jennifer, get off the floor. That's not how a lady behaves", Mom reminds her.

"Sorry", Jenn mutters, sitting in her chair.

"I have recently aquired the position of Producer for a film. And as you know, this was all planned before my hip operation, which unfortunately had unexpected complications." He gestures at the wheelchair beneath him. "I have no wish to back out of this obligation, so I will be doing all my work from my home. However, the director and film company require a representative in London to handle all the direct involvement that is necessary. Besides, I am interested in seeing how my money is spent, and you girls spend far too much time loafing around and reading. You need to get sensible jobs."

I chime in. "Excuse me, Grandpa, but how exactly do we fit into all this?"

"That's exactly what I was getting to. Marnie, you have recently turned 18, and are now an adult. You have graduated from high school, and expressed an interest in studying abroad before college. Jennifer, you are enrolled in a boarding school that you frankly hate, and have no desire to return to."

Jenn is obviously surprised by his precise representation of what's going on in our lives. I'm not. I told him all this stuff the last time I visited.

Grandpa begins again. "I would like you both to travel to the United Kingdom to work and generally represent my financial interests. This project will take awhile to complete and you will be staying for the entire filming and post-production work, all the way through to the release. All together, you will be spending a year overseas. Your mother and I already discussed this, and she consented. You will be leaving a week from tomorrow."

My jaw drops. This is amazing. I mean, the job part sucks, but I love movies, and I love travel.

Jenn leans back in her chair. "One question- what movie?"

"The sixth in the Harry Potter series."


	2. The Figurative Horns of Opportunity

**Jennifer's Diary: July 9, 2007 **

Dear diary,

Yes, I do know I neglected you for nine years, but let's just put that behind us from now on, kay? Besides, I got you back out to include the important part of my life (i.e. now).

First off, it's……Night. I can't tell any more than that because of time change and all.

Current Location: on a plane. We're supposedly over the Atlantic right now but you never know with people these days…

I'm guessing you're wondering why this is the important bit of my life, considering that planes are the most annoying/boring things since ever. Well, I'm kind of on my way to the U.K. right now with only my sister, Marnie, for company. And like a billion other strangers, but they don't matter. We're gonna be there for like a year working on the set of some big-shot movie that's like sixth in a series. We were supposed to spend the summer with Grandpa like usual, but he saw a chance to get rid of us and seized it by the horns, or so to speak (Clarification for the dimwitted: no, opportunities do not have horns by which to seize them. They also have no hands to knock with. Any body parts mentioned are purely figurative. Thank you, have a nice day.).

He's sending us instead of him so he can stay behind and recover from his third (or is it fifth?) hip surgery. It's also great for us since his house, while full of interesting knick-knacks and other crap-I mean fun stuff-, gets boring after a few summers. See, we've spent every summer since we were little at Grandpa's. No offense to him, but the interest in his stuff wears off pretty quick after a week or so in the house. The house is full of hidey holes and secret closets everywhere which made it perfect for hide-and-seek games when we were little, but, alas, at sixteen and eighteen I think we're a little too old for that. His pool is nice but there are only so many days a girl can spend by a pool without hot guys. And the novelty wears off really fast when you own one. Which we do, in our San Francisco home.

He lives in L.A., which is definitely spending-the-entire-summer-there material. If we hadn't spent the past summer driving around it. And the one before. And walking around it the one before that. So, all in all, we are ready to spend the entire summer, and most of the next year, "working" and occasionally being tutored so we don't fall behind. The only downer is our dear Grandfather expects to actually work and has gotten someone to assign us task lists to prevent the "pampered princess" thing from starting up. As if we'd ever do that! And, for reference, working equates to sitting around watching people scurry to do their jobs(and our bidding) while reading girly magazines. Oh well, that's life. Just as long as I don't have to anything messy in my favorite shoes. Or outfits. Crap, I knew I should have brought old stuff! Unless we're staying in the city. That'd be nice. Anyway, I'm gonna bug Marnie. She fell asleep. Again. So unfair.

-Jennifer


End file.
